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Better Is Not So Far Away

ISBN10: 0071840842 | ISBN13: 9780071840842

Better Is Not So Far Away
ISBN10: 0071840842
ISBN13: 9780071840842
By Melissa Groman

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From hurting to healing . . . resistance torecovery . . . struggle to strength . . . This can be your story When your parents, friends, or partner tell you what you should or should not do to "get better," do you think, "They just don't get it"? Melissa Groman gets it. As a therapist, she has spent twenty-five years helping young women who binge, starve, and physically harm themselves to heal and recover. In Better Is Not So Far Away, she combines her experience, wisdom, and compassion to help you see beyond your behavior, discover who you really are, and decide to change your life. You might know that obsession, disordered eating, and self-harm won't ultimately make you feel better--but you haven't been able to stop. Bridging the gap between what you feel and what you do, Groman explores raw emotional pain with a deep knowledge of the human psyche, including stories of those who have suffered, faced, and conquered self-destructive urges. "A life well-lived means more than just a lessening of symptoms," Groman writes. "It means a true shift in how you think and how you tend to your own feelings and thefeelings of others." Dealing with family, friendships, emotions, and life itself--as well as food and body issues--can be complex and can get in the way of even wanting to recover. When you clear away some of the emotional obstacles, it's easier to take practical steps to genuine reliefand healing. This book will help you do just that. It can be the first or next right step toward facing yourgreatest hurts and challenges in a practical, profoundly honest, and self-caring way. A healthy, happy lifemay seem impossible now--but, truly, it is not so far away.

Better Is Not So Far Away

Introduction: Landing on Life

Are You Asking?
This Is Not a “How to Recover” Book
A Word about Therapy

Part One: Hurting

1. Inside Emotional Pain

The Deep End of Despair
Tired All the Time
Killing the Pain
The Edge of the Ledge (Where Does It Stop?)

2. Alone in the Woods

Your Angry Heart
When You Feel Worthless, Pitiful, and Lonely
You Can Find Self-Worth
Fear and “What If I’m Empty Inside?”
Good Grief

3. If You’ve Been Hurt or Abused

4. Who Are You?

You Are Not Nothing. Really.
Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Cold
Whose Fault Is This?
Get Out of My Food and My Money—I Think
Great Expectations
Still a Kid

Part Two: Healing

5. Maybe I Don’t Want to Recover

Seriously Stuck and Stubborn
Gathering Your Personal Truths
Imagine If
Why Am I Here?
The Great Wait Debate Decisions, Decisions)
Drop Your Weapons

6. Finding the Willingness

Rebel with a Cause
Okay, I’m Listening
Functioning Fine, Thanks
Please Don’t Talk to Me about Feelings
Except for Me
Cooks in the Kitchen
Call Me George
Helping Your Helpers

7. Who Are Your Real Friends?

Choosing Between Sharing Razors and Jelly on Your Toast
So Who Needs Friends Anyway?
Making It Happen
Skinnier Than You

8. Parenting Your Parents

They, Too, Have a Story
Surviving the Storms
New Words and New Ways

9. A Separate Peace

Who Are These People?
Moving Out
So It Must Be Me

Part Three: Tools for Life

10. A Wise and Gentle Mind

At the Intersection of Emotional Pain and Recovery
Meeting Your Self
Back Talk
Clappers in the Closet
You Need Credit and Encouragement
Your Side of the Street
Mean

11. Mind Trek

Besties in Your Head
Vermont

12. Tell Your Story

Talk
Revenge Alternatives
Write On
Color Your World
Move It

13. The Heart of Our Matter

Vacation Days
Do Your Work
Your Personal Creed
Protectzia
Gratitudes and Victories
Nourish Yourself and Others
Boot Camp
Sitting Still

Part Four: A Better Place to Be

14. Good God, Really?

When You Feel Huge
But List
Prayer

15. Everlasting Starting Points

Fish Is Fish
Forgiveness
Self-Forgiveness

16. Hope Forward

Taking Fun Seriously

Relapse, Retrauma, and Remembering

Passionate about Life

Comfortable in Your Skin

Resources

Index

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